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Overcoming Life’s Challenges: How to Move Forward When Everything Falls Apart

Overcoming Life’s Challenges: How to Move Forward When Everything Falls Apart

Life doesn’t always present itself in the most pleasant way. We may face obstacles that seem impossible to overcome. I used to be a nihilist. Believing that the idea that life has no intrinsic meaning, purpose, or value. That the world is nothing more than a collection of matter in motion, and all meaning that we assign to it is an illusion. But life is also about the places it can take you, bouncing back, and having internal fortitude. Not giving in to the thoughts your conscience can tell you.

  • Morgan Rooks

    Morgan Rooks

  • February 5, 2023

Image Source: Morgan Rooks

“Waking up from a dream, going round and round and round. After a while once experiences begin to have a, what I would call “haven’t we been here before feeling?”. And then you begin wondering, where am I going? What do I want to happen? And of course as soon as you ask yourself that you begin to fantasize. And so I soon found myself at a great push-button place, with buttons available for every conceivable thing I could wish. All possible pleasures are available. You know, you go “Going!” like that, and here is Cleopatra, then press this button, and symphonic music. So I simply set myself to thinking through how far we could go? Now, you suddenly notice there’s a button labeled Surprise. You push that – and here we are.”

Alan Watt


You can still progress and reconstruct your life even when everything appears to be falling apart. To triumph over life’s challenges, you need a combination of tenacity, endurance, and a constructive attitude. You must grasp the methods and tactics that will assist and maintain you in trying times. When life throws you a curveball…with a bit of effort and commitment, you can survive the most difficult times and come out the other side stronger and more knowledgeable.

So, what are some common challenges that we face in life?

Each individual’s journey is different, but there are certain struggles that many of us have to go through. These can range from relationship issues, job uncertainty, money worries, health concerns, and even substance abuse. This is just a glimpse of the kind of challenges people generally come up against. These obstacles are just as essential as big life changes, such as tying the knot, becoming a parent, or retiring. Even if you’ve led a chilled-out existence until now, these issues are still relevant. 

How do I develop an attitude of resilience?

Being able to recover quickly from adversity and hardships is an important trait to have, and fortunately, it’s something that can be cultivated. If you want to develop a resilient attitude, try to become conscious of your current reactions to failure and disappointment. A study revealed that optimists had a better ability to recover from bad experiences, since they tended to interpret such events as temporary, not as a reflection of their self-worth. If you want to make progress in this area, it can be helpful to identify any negative patterns that may be dragging down your attitude. Looking closely at your current feelings about failure can open up possibilities for improving your resilience.

But how do I cope with life’s challenges?

There is no universal answer to conquering life’s obstacles. However, there are strategies that can aid and sustain people while in hardship. These strategies are applicable to everyone, regardless of age or success. A great way to get started is to assemble a “support crew” of individuals who can provide emotional and practical aid during hard times. This network should have those closest to you, such as family, friends, and workmates. Another excellent tip is to find an “anchor” in your life that brings you a sense of equilibrium. Identifying “anchors” that can help to maintain a sense of balance and stability when you are experiencing challenging times. Anchors can take a number of different forms: a particular song on the radio, a particular object in your home, a particular job, or a particular hobby. While anchors do sink, accept that some may keep you in a place of helpfulness. Lastly, putting together a well-being plan is a great concept to tackle mental health or substance abuse issues.

The power of positive thinking.

Studies point to the fact that simply focusing on the good stuff in tricky predicaments can make a huge difference in how people handle it and how they feel about it. Those with a good attitude towards life’s struggles often tap into a sense of gratefulness and resilience. To keep your spirits up when things get tough, take a few moments to reflect on what you’re grateful for. It’s a simple but effective exercise that can have a great impact on your mental and emotional balance.

Using problem-solving skills to overcome obstacles.

Achieving success in tough times requires one to sharpen their problem-solving skills. This can be done in various ways, such as building a “toolkit” of techniques that can be used to tackle any challenge. This toolbox should include techniques like recognizing patterns, breaking down problems into smaller parts, and visualizing potential solutions. Also, it’s important to differentiate “triggers” that can activate problem-solving skills in every life situation, especially in difficult times. For instance, if you’re feeling anxious, try to spot a pattern in the situation and figure out what to do about it.

The importance of taking care of yourself.

It’s key to make sure you’re looking after yourself when you’re going through a tough patch. This can be done in a variety of ways, such as pinpointing those “triggers” we talked about earlier. That can kickstart your self-care tactics. This counts in all aspects of life, but is particularly important during difficult times. For instance, trigger: “If I’m feeling on edge and feel my anxiety is rising, I’ll try to spot a certain pattern in the scenario and figure out how I can take care of myself.” Acknowledge it. Feel it. And let go of what you cannot control.

Finding support and seeking help can be a difficult and sometimes scary process, but it is often the most effective way of overcoming a challenge. Remember, you’re a human.

Reaching out to others to ask for help is not a weakness — and in a society where most people are reluctant to ask for help, asking for it is a sign of strength and confidence. However, fear of asking for help isn’t just fear of not being capable, it’s also fear of being a burden, fear of imposing, and fear of being too needy.

Yet, the debility in requesting help is in not requesting it. Requesting help demonstrates signs of strength, confidence, and resourcefulness. In today’s world, where people anticipate issues to be solved quickly, having people around you who can offer assistance in a variety of situations is highly advantageous. Asking for help is likewise a sign of humanity and it can make you more welcoming in the future; if you are a leader in your organization or community and you step up and ask for help, those close to you will feel more comfortable in approaching you when they need help.

Learning from mistakes and moving forward.

It’s essential that you don’t make a blunder and treat it as a chance to give up. This is an ideal time to reflect. Something plainly turned out badly, and now you have to comprehend what happened, and completely grasp and acknowledge the circumstance you are in. 

Take a break to consider the misstep and ask yourself: 

  • What had I wanted to do?
  • What went off-base?

It’s essential that you don’t go over the edge by exaggerating the conditions. As an enneagram 4, (thanks, Libby) I tend to feel emotions intensely and can be overwhelmed by my own feelings, but it’s important to remember that they don’t define me. Your identity is not based on how you feel. Emotions, after all, are temporary. Simply observe it as it is and handle it from a problem-solving viewpoint. 

At this point it’s just as helpful to start changing your point of view about the situation and recognize potential open doors that may presently be accessible because of these sudden changes. Ask yourself: 

  • How can this mistake be useful?
  • What am I thankful for?
  • What is the chance here?

Believe in the possibility of your own future success. Allow life to direct you to wherever you will let it. Think of how far it could take you.


“And so, our journey comes to an end. But yours continues on. Grab ahold of your dreams and make them come true. For you are the key to unlocking your own magic. Now go. Let your dreams guide you. Reach out and find your Happily Ever After.” 

NARRATOR of Happily Ever After

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Moving from Business Idea to Action: 5 Tips for Bringing Your Vision to Life

Moving from Business Idea to Action: 5 Tips for Bringing Your Vision to Life

It always starts the same way: the eureka moment, the spark of an idea that brightens the eye and lights up the future. If you’re like many entrepreneurially minded people out there, these ideas illuminate your world pretty regularly, maybe even every day. But bringing the idea into the world? That is the real challenge. 

  • Ande Noktes

  • December 2, 2022

From Business Idea To Action

Every business out there started with an idea, though, and here are 5 tips to help you turn your vision into action and bring your startup to life:

Clarify the Problem

What problem are you solving? Who is affected by the problem and what is the problem really costing people? Having a clear sense of the problem will help you stay focused as you work to bring your vision to life. Try writing the problem that your idea solves as a statement of 15 words or less.

Test Your Idea

When you can clearly articulate the problem—in just a few words—it’s time to do some research and test your idea. This will help you better understand your potential customers, the market, and what whether your idea is something people would value. Find five to seven people who you think might be affected by the problem you’ve identified. Share your problem statement and your idea with them. What kind of feedback do you get? What emotional response do you notice?

Don’t Get Attached

One of the most powerful tools in an entrepreneur’s world is called micro-experimentation. This is the process of testing out parts of an idea in different ways, with different people, on different days, to see what resonates and what doesn’t. Sometimes we fall in love with our idea, with the hard work we’ve done to identify the problem, and it’s hard to let go of parts of the idea that don’t or won’t work. If you find yourself clinging to an idea despite meh responses when you test it out, try out a variation of the idea and see if it gets a better response.

Don’t Overcomplicate

We love making things complicated for ourselves. When we complicate our idea it gives us the feeling that we’re differentiating ourselves, that we’re improving upon solutions that already exist, that we’re exercising creativity. Simple wins, though. Solve the problem. Do it well. Don’t overcomplicate.

Find Your Team

Despite the heroizing of the founders who launch billion-dollar companies in their garages, no one can bring a business vision into the world alone. Even if your business will always be small, or even just you, you still need a team! Find five people who will practice radical candor with you: honest, loving feedback that’s shared even if you don’t want to hear it. Some people hire this team to complement their strengths, while others find their team amongst family, friends, and their peer network. Bounce ideas off your team regularly, share wins and losses, celebrate with them, and, most importantly, always hear them.

Not every spark of an idea will make its way into the world as a business, and that’s probably for the best. But you’ll know if your idea has legs if you can clarify the problem and your solution in a way that resonates with potential customers. Keep this clarity as your guiding promise and you’re off to a great start in bringing your idea to life.

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Simple Self-Care Habits

Simple Self-Care Habits

As a mental health therapist, I speak to my clients all the time about their self-care habits. Some ask, “What is self-care?” and my first response is, “What is something that makes you feel good?” Think of that activity that makes you feel connected to your body, mind, and soul once you’re done. 

  • Charlotte Nash

  • December 2, 2022

Simple Self-care Habits

Self-care does not need to be expensive; or time consuming; or that thing that you just never get to do. I personally find self-care in those mindful moments when I stop long enough to literally “smell the roses”. Much needed self-care occurs after a crazy morning with unexpected upsets, hurried steps, and general chaos. 

My favorite self-care is a short walk or light jog where I find beauty in the moment as I observe my surroundings using my five senses. Self-care is simply taking the time to just breathe even for just a few short moments. Creating that habit and building it into your day makes such a difference in your mental health.

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Always Keep Change in Your Pocket

Always Keep Change in Your Pocket

For years, I worked in the restaurant industry as a server and a bartender from Arizona to New York and various places in between. Then, over time, I started being “just a server and bartender,” under-employed, with wasted potential. These were the phrases that I used to describe my work and, by default my self-worth. In my mind, I came to believe I had no transferable skills, a lackluster resume, and a feeling of being stuck and unhappy.

  • Carrie Lofstrom

  • December 2, 2022

Change Blog

However, with those feelings of unhappiness and wasted potential, I was also comfortable, and complacent. The one “C” I needed was CHANGE. Change happens when we leave our comfort zone and venture out into discomfort and the dreaded feelings of fear and uncertainty. What if I cannot do it? What if I am not good/smart/capable/likable enough? When I talked about going back to school to get my Bachelor’s Degree, I remember telling my dad that I would be almost thirty when I graduated. His words continue to echo in my mind, “Carrie you are going to be 30 regardless, so do you want to be 30m with or without a Bachelor’s Degree?” Sound question that produced a clear answer for me: with a degree.

I stepped out of my comfort zone and went back to college. I feared and failed sometimes. I freaked out. I fumbled, and I contemplated quitting more than a few times. I was fully invested in change, however, and without being aware of it, I was becoming more confident, confident that I could do hard things, scary things, unfamiliar things while still being afraid and overwhelmed at times. I have tried to capitalize on change and the fortunate biproduct of building self-confidence. Since earning my bachelor’s degree at 30, I have gone on to earn a Master’s Degree, find my passion and calling as a mental health therapist, and open a successful and growing counseling practice. Change is scary, but just as the plaque in my office reads: “What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you FLY?”

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There is an “I” in Imposter

There is “I” in Imposter

Have you ever accomplished something but felt undeserving of the rewards or the compliments? Have you ever felt like a fraud, afraid that someone ​would call ​your bluff?

You are not alone. We are millions. 

  • Anne Goodstein

  • December 2, 2022

Imposter Syndrome Blog

The term, originally Imposter Phenomenon, comes from Psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes 1978 research. They observed that women “despite outstanding academic and professional accomplishments”, persist in “believing that they are not really bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise”. 

If high achieving women experienced it, could someone like me, with more than average accomplishments, share the same internal experience of phoniness?

I have earned a master’s degree. I have built a solid career in a shark-like Paris agency world with zero connection. I have left Europe to rebuild a second successful life in a place where I barely understood the language. I overcame many ​hurdles and humiliating moments to achieve successes to be celebrated.

Yet, I doubt myself every day and tirelessly aim to improve my skills and knowledge, always pursuing new challenges. ​If success arrives, I am quick to point out the errors or ​dismiss the effort. Surely, anyone could have accomplished the same or even better.

Anyone? Anyone. According to Harvard Business Review​ “from Hollywood superstars such as Charlize Theron and Viola Davis to business leaders such as Sheryl Sandberg and even former First Lady Michelle Obama and Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor — have confessed to experiencing it​”

If those amazing ladies have experienced Imposter Syndrome, who am I to pretend leveling up with their weaknesses? That would be presumptuous. When you are from a Catholic family like mine, ​you have learned that pride is out of reach.

Trust that if Charlize, Michele and I were on the same Syndrome boat, I would be in the machine room, apologizing for making noise, letting Michele steer the wheel and Charlize check the nautical map. I am no expert, but I am sure of that.

During my research I have found tips, some effective, to deal with doubts when making a decision, tips to help with  the awkwardness when meeting new people, ​​or the lack of confidence when facing new situations, all feelings of discomfort we quickly label “Imposter Syndrome” as if it was a medical condition, which it is not. 

The solution to dealing with Imposter Syndrome is to re-frame the narrative and change our approach. The Imposter Syndrome is a box. It is a response to a social context that values confidence over competence. 

The solution to dealing with Imposter Syndrome is to design a society that fosters a variety of learning and  leadership styles and embraces failure as a healthy path to making thoughtful decisions. Everyone we see as experts once knew nothing about their subject.

Together we can curate an ecosystem that recognizes, accepts, and celebrates diversity, an environment that doesn’t love us despite our differences but because of them.

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